It's happened, the moment you've been waiting for. The moment you get to hold you baby in your arms! All those months, gone in a blink! You can't believe it, you have your little angel in your arms, your significant other watches, amazed at how something so wonderful was blessed in your lives.

It's been 5 months, going on 6... you look at the weight scale and still it's pouring in, hoping it stops and that magic number you've been hoping. Only to show that... no, it's not broken, you haven't lost any weight. You run it in your head; the diet went perfect... okay okay, so you had a splurge now and then. But hey! Who doesn't, I mean sure- you could of stopped and the 3rd delicious piece of cake that you have been dying to have for the longest time, but you exercised like no tomorrow the day after... alright so it was cut short because the sitter wasn't able to stay long. Or your significant other was having a moment of spoiled attitude, that you forgot you had only one kid and thought you were raising two instead. Maybe you were just to tired, can't blame you. After all, you are raising on baby, working, and trying to maintain a healthy relationship with that person you love so much... why was that? It doesn't matter, right now, that number is the only thing you are trying to figure out.

I've been there, and although it's frustrating to see, you want to be able to have that gorgeous, pre-baby body that you once hated but now wished you had. You heard it all from other people, saying how they lost the baby weight so fast, or how they didn't gain much. But the fact of the matter is still this: you just had a baby, give yourself a break!!!

Alright, alright so you want to look hot and sexy for your love, you want to be able to ignite that spark that you once had when you were young and naive. Believing that you would only have to worry about a zit or a pound or two to shed... now, looking at that weight scale, you notice. You have more foreboding problems to attend to. The fact of the matter is still that damn scale. And it doesn't help when you have those friend's night out that you used to look forward to before the baby, the ones where sharing clothes and looking at cute outfits was always in the list. Now, all you see is your non-mommy friends fitting into jeans that won't even pass your thighs! Worse, they ask if they look fat in it?!?!

When I got pregnant, I was thrilled, I loved it! I was excited to meet the little one inside of me, with every kick, with every little sonogram, I had a smile on my face. Constantly thinking about my first baby.... Jayden.           

  










As the months went by, I was growing bigger, but I didn't mind, I thought it would faster to lose the pounds. I was in denial. When Jayden was born, I finally got a good look at myself, and I did not like how I looked. Strechmarks on my tummy, my butt got bigger, my boobs were less perky, my face was swelled and bags were under my eyes. My hair was frizzy and dead, my legs were gooey and felt like jell-o and my feet! My poor feet! They were battered and swollen from all the weight lifting. And that's when I went through the 7 stages of "Lovin My body"
1. Denial: This isn't anything bad. I look the same as before I got pregnant.
2. Shock: Well, technically I do look the same as before, I just don't fit into any of my pre-baby clothes. But there's simply, and I mean, simply no way having a baby could change my body this much..... could it?!? OMG!
3. Anger: Fine, I don't look the same as before, I got a bigger butt, my boobs are less perky, I got stretchmarks pretty much everywhere. My legs are covered in cellulite! Stupid stupid body! Is it possible to make it all go away?
4. Depression: No deal, I couldn't make it all go away so fast. everytime I mentioned it to someone they would ask how long has it been, when I would reply less than 4 months, they would laugh... which hurt my feelings and made me cry. And still wearing your pregnancy clothes eventhough you're almost past your 9-months pregnancy postpartum doesn't make you feel good. Those lying jerks who kept telling me "9 months on, 9 months off" must of not had this much of a change.
5. Guilt: I'm a growing a women, I'm smart, I'm going to college to be someone, I know that women are not all "hot bodies" I know that objectifying is cruel to everyone and to myself. Everyone keeps telling me how awesome I am! I just created life! I'm a mother, I can handle pretty much anything.... and yet, this damn body won't go away!!!
6. Fear: What if it never goes away?!? What if I keep gaining and gaining, and my fiance won't want to be with me anymore! What if my butt consumes all of my body! What if my boobs are just one day going to drop all the way to the floor? What if kids think I'm a zebra b/  cuz of my stretchmarks!?! My kids won't want to be around me!? My friends won't want to be with me! This is horrible!... guess I just have to stay home and wear sweats all day.
7. Acceptance: Okay, so it's not that bad; really. My new body does come with some very nice features. My butts bigger, so it's supports me more when I need to carry my baby and he could hold on to that, my fiance likes my big butt-alot. I get to go shopping now for better jeans to fit my big butt. My boobs have provided my baby with nutrients, and they did get a little bigger than before, which means I could go shopping for more lingerie and shirts to fit my awesome boobs. My stretchmarks provide a story, the story of my baby growing inside me, and yeah sure... the weight will come off eventually. but hey, no one likes to lay down on a hard-rock stomache now do they? In fact, I think my new body is actually starting to grow on me. I can dig it now...

there you have it... I think I can learn now not to worry about my body... I mean after all.... I did just have a baby... okay okay, so it's been 5 months already... but still. I could relax a little bit!



sincerly,
That_Girl_Evie